Baby Steps

Scripture for the day:  Matthew 6:30-34 “Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek.  For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

O Ye of little faith.  Hello?  I’m right here.  I know this scripture by heart, and yet I need to hear it often.  I have walked many miles with my Lord.  He has never failed me, never deserted me, and yet I worry.  Why?  It is futile.  It causes restless, sleepless nights and it changes nothing.

I am heading straight into old age, and I am afraid.  But why?  Am I infirm?  Destitute? Alone?  No, I am fine.  God is with me.  He wants me to simply hold his hand and walk through today.  Baby steps.  Fine.  I know I can do that.  But there is a part of me that is catapulting into next week, next month, next year . . . twenty years down the road.  And I’m afraid.  We visit my 98-year-old mother-in-law in the nursing home frequently, and we both leave feeling depressed.  Her situation is sad, and yet she is surviving it.  She isn’t aware of her condition, and she is happy for the most part.

I have lost both parents.  It was hard, but I survived.  I was diagnosed with cancer.  It was not a path I would have chosen, but I not only survived I was blessed.  God has seen me through some difficult times, carried me often, never deserted me.  I trust Him completely.

And yet at times I worry.  I fall on my knees before Him today asking for forgiveness.  I want to hold His hand and simply walk through today.  No need to worry about tomorrow.  We will do the same thing again.  And again.  And again.  Until He takes me home.

Baby steps.  With my Father.  That is my what I am planning for today.

Song for the day:  “Remind Me Who I Am” by Jason Gray   



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